It Took the “Jaws of Life” to Get Him into The Ocean… Pun Very Much Intended!

It Took the “Jaws of Life” to Get Him into The Ocean…  Pun Very Much Intended!


My husband and I honeymooned in Florida when we were married.  15 memorable days and 14 blissful nights.  We did everything from golfing to reading novels poolside.  Mimosas in the morning, pina coladas in the afternoon and snoring by 8!  Yes, that’s right.  On our honeymoon, we were asleep earlier than my silver-haired 90-year old grandmother.  We were exhausted.  It is not easy being in paradise.  Let me tell you!  My husband had every activity booked that the information desk had a brochure for.  At first I thought it was romantic.  He was trying to plan all these “couples” activities and excursions, but after a few days, something didn’t seem right.  He was up to something.  We may have just been married but we were together far too long before that for me to not notice when he was acting fishy.  While he was in the shower, I noticed all the brochures on the dining room table of our condo rental.  Regatta Bay Golf & Country Club of Destin, ranked as one of America’s Top 200 courses to play by Golf Digest…  The Track Recreation Center, your Family Fun and Recreation Center in Destin, Florida!…  National Naval Aviation Museum of Pensacola, Fly high with an adventure at one of the world’s largest aviation museums.…  Scooter rentals, a fun, easy way to get around the beautiful South Walton County.  Then tucked under the bamboo placemat was a brochure I had not seen yet.  The headline read, “Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water…” Navarre Beach.  As I read the pamphlet, I glanced back at the other ones.  Then I lifted my bathing suit strap off my shoulder.  No tan line!  We have been on the Scenic Gulf Drive in Destin, Florida, right next to the ocean for 8 days already and I have no tan.  How is that possible?  Then I realized that it can be difficult to get a tan when you have not done one single activity on or around the beach!  Look at the things we have done so far…  Golfing, riding scooters, and museums!  All these activities are further from the beach than Vermont!  I scanned over the Navarre Beach brochure.  Why would he try to hide this one?  It looks gorgeous.  Sugar-fine sandy beaches, quirky local bars & grills.  Looks greats to me.  And then there was my answer.  “Visit the beach where Jaws 2 was filmed!”  My hand clamped over my mouth in shock.  That’s it!  That’s why he has avoided the ocean at all costs!  He is totally afraid to go in the water.  My husband has been avoiding the ocean like the plague.  Our condo is across the street from it.  Has he been lying awake at night with the sounds of “dun-dun… dun-dun… dun-dun-dun, dun`` instead of sea swells in his head?  I slid the brochure back under the placemat and went out to the lanai where my husband was reading yet another golf magazine, like those articles were really going to improve his swing enough to get him onto the PGA Tour!  I sat down next to him and in a sweetest, least suspicious voice I could do, I told him that I ran into a neighbor down by the pool and they told me about this amazing beach that we just could not miss during our stay on the Scenic Gulf Drive.  They said the water was so clear that you could see the chips in my nail polish on my feet underwater!  Either my husband stayed out in the sun too long today or he sent himself into a panic over the thought of going in the water because he turned bright red and started shivering. 

                The next morning my husband tried to stall by bringing me for a delicious Southern breakfast on the Scenic Hwy 98.  Lined with condos, vacation rentals, restaurants, and shopping, he thought it would be a great place to spend our day.  I realized that he was not even wearing his bathing suit!  It was a good thing I knew him better than himself and packed one in my beach bag.  He tried everything to avoid the beach.  This from the man who went cliff diving in Hawaii and parasailing in St. Thomas.  He pointed out that the sky looked like rain clouds were rolling in.  That is amazing since Destin has like 343 days of sun a year!  Sorry honey, that was not a nimbus cloud you saw, it was a sky writer spelling out “go to the beach, Rick!” 

                Finally after stalling for another hour, we arrived at Henderson Beach State.  Obviously Navarre Beach was not the first beach stop today.  We ate some sandwiches that I made back at the rental and even though I could tell my husband wanted to wait the recommended 30 minutes after eating to go in, I grabbed his hand and pulled him to the water.  He was petrified.  Did he think the mechanical shark was going to spontaneously appear before him?  I looked at him and just blurted it out… “It was only a movie!”  He could not believe I figured it all out!  “It wasn’t too difficult since you left the brochure under a see-through placemat on a glass-top table,” I told him!  Over the next 15 minutes, he tried to recreate the movie to me and explain why he was so freaked out, while without realizing, he had been standing knee deep in the ocean.  “Wow, you really can see your toes in this water!”  He looked relieved and triumphant when he realized he was enjoying the water.  For the remaining days of our honeymoon, we tried out every beach on the Scenic Gulf Drive!  Thank goodness our condo rental was within walking distance to the ocean because my husband, after his big revelation that Jaws was just a movie and that Florida’s Panhandle beaches were some of the most luxurious ones in the world, did not want to miss a minute away from the translucent blue waters.  


PS – I would like to point out that upon our trip home, my husband demanded we stop at Disney so he could have his photo taken with the “real” Jaws.  His head in the shark’s mouth as a souvenir!  I drew the line when he wanted that as our next Christmas card!









This blog was written by Villa4vacation staff 3/23/2010 1:33 AM

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